César Salazar (
pineapplesalmon) wrote in
myicebox2021-09-21 12:16 am
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Nautilus; Feb 2016 after no longer being a tree
One doesn't just immediately recover from no longer having the existential threat of becoming a tree over their head. You don't forget what it was like to be afraid of your own body whenever you were naked. You don't forget banishing all the mirrors around you and making the glass around you non-reflective. You don't stop being greedy for every bit of physical contact that you had missed out on for months.
Caesar would wake up alone. Tadashi was always a call over the network away, but it didn't feel right. They couldn't sit on the same bed and talk or share a cup of hot chocolate. What he needed was Tadashi's presence, but he could never really be there for him.
They were supposed to sleep separately still with Hiro needing Tadashi to be in their room, but that wasn't what happened this night. It was his first first night being normal again, and his first night rejoined with the rest of humanity. Neither Caesar nor Tadashi had wanted to do anything besides have the knowledge that the other was alive sleeping next to them.
Even that hadn't been enough to calm Caesar's mind. What if it really wasn't over? What if it came back? But he couldn't stay away from everyone for even a moment longer...
The nightmares that were his constant visitors these last few months are still here. Eventually he starts stirring and murmuring in his sleep. He startles awake without more preamble, eyes flying open with a gasp as his arm tightens around Tadashi's waist.
no subject
"I won't discount it; brains are just strange when it comes to emotions," Caesar smile reaches his eyes properly. "And don't you discount the work you did to help me open up my heart. You should be proud of yourself, too."